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1. The Angry Ojibway Woman only has two hands. Count them, one on the left and one on the right.

2. In the right hand, we are most likely holding onto a toddler or carrying an infant in a car seat.

3. In the left hand, we are holding onto a toddler or carrying an infant in a car seat.
Yes, it is true we can multitask!
4. We then use our teeth to hold car keys.

5. This is a point where most people need to use one of their five senses and understand that the Angry Ojibway Woman has most likely not even left the yard yet and she is 30 minutes late for wherever she is going. Do you offer to help knowing that she cannot use her lips or hands to motion for assistance? This is a question that the Angry Ojibway Woman will often reply to upon her return when her hands are not full! But this is all going to be covered in Understanding Social Cues from the Angry Ojibway Woman in Lesson Three of the course.

5. Now, understanding that the Angry Ojbway Woman's hands are full, where do we keep our money and cellphone? For those of you who don't know, all Angry Ojibway Women have an Indian Purse. You can't see it, but just know that it is there. Most Ojibway men will look away when it is being accessed or be exposed to more then what they would have liked as a result.

6. The Indian Purse is sold at most Walmarts, Kmarts, and garage sales. You usually, when trying to figure out how big of a purse you need, go once size up than usual. For example, if you wear a D you will need to get a DD. 

7. The rule of thumb is that you need enough room to fit your fist on either side, but not so big that your cellphone or dollar bills fall out. Some are lucky enought to not have change fall through the cracks, but that is not always the case so we try to spend our dollars so there is not change which is always good for the retail market.

8. The Indian Purse is one of the safest places to keep money. It is not advertised on any TV specials, but it is widely known and embraced in the Indian community. Most of the time, if you pick up an Indian Purse at a garage sale, it cost less than $1. It usually does not have rhinestones. It is always white. If you are snagging however, it might be black, but then you might not want to keep valuables in the purse during this time because it might be accessed by someone other than you. For most Angry Ojibway Women, her purse is safer than Fort Knox and everyone knows it.

9. Finally, like Annie Oakley, the Angry Ojibway Woman is quick on the draw. She can whip out her cellphone from the Indian Purse on the first ring , flip it open, and close it back up putting it back into the holtster without anyone even knowing. If standing at the checkout counter at Walmart, she will reach in her purse flip open the stack of bills, pay, and be over withit before the cashier has a change to gasp. 

10. Moral of the story: Indian Woman get by with little or nothing. They have for centuries. They are extremely innovative. They don't need rhinestones! And lastly, they have the ability to laugh at themselves and can give you the old stink eye at the same time if you even think about laughing at her. But that is another story!

Have a great day,
Betsy McDougall

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